Woman can't decipher Gen-Z gym acquaintance's confusing behavior after she moves the friendship to outside the gym for the first time: 'She currently sends several reels everyday, but never engages with actual substance'

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jun 29, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

Did the meaning of friendship change with generations?

These days, some messages are becoming really hard to decode. We've increased the number of communication channels we use, and with them, we decreased the quality of our messages. Before, you had body language, tone of voice, and words to understand. Not all of those things are codified, but there are fewer ways through which you can get confused. Now we deal with situations like 'she sends me reels all the time but doesn't reply to my messages', 'she texts me all the time but doesn't talk to me in person', and a long list of other confusing scenarios. My advice would always be to stick to palpable reality, but it gets hard when reality gets enmeshed with and interrupted by the virtual.

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  • a very fashionable woman sitting on a bench in front of a door
    via Good Faces

    A model representing the Gen Z friend

  • I'm a millenial. Made a friend on a gym class (we're both female). Her behaviour became confusing and my story is to hear a few interpretations, out of curiosity. I am over it now.
    via SeniorBed5264
  • We bonded through the years and used to chat a ton. She actively pursued the conversations. I grew fond of her and she was a caring warm person too. We overlapped in several interests and
    via SeniorBed5264
  • conversations were fluid and natural. I eventually tried moving the friendship to outside the gym context (3 years later). After the first and only hang out, she back paddled so hard on the
    via SeniorBed5264
  • bond, to the point of stopping almost entirely any time spent, before and after the gym class. She was always "busy".
    via SeniorBed5264
  • I was very hurt but put a brave face and was gracious about all of it. Didn't pursue, gave space.
    via SeniorBed5264
  • group of women doing yoga
    via bruce mars

    A photo depicting the two friends at the gym

  • Last class I went, before swapping gyms to pursue other sport, she actually waited for another person after class for the 1st time ever. She wasn't "busy". I
    via SeniorBed5264
  • was already out the door towards my car, when she called me back. She said they would walk down the street with me. I was kinda ignored on all the way down and when I said goodbye.
    via SeniorBed5264
  • I swapped gym and sent a simple message wishing her well. I was hoping a short answer of good luck.
    via SeniorBed5264
  • She sent a crying kitty GIF and no words, then silence. I thought that was that but...
    via SeniorBed5264

  • Having said all this, I think this woman is simply in an unrequited friendship situation, but of course, it gets very hard to understand that if you are constantly bombarded with confusing internet mixed signals, which probably mean much less to a Zoomer. The girl has every right not to return the feeling. We millennials just have to begin to integrate the internet’s meaninglessness. If a person is only sending reels and not engaging in anything more, the relationship is just that, an exchange of funny or interesting reels. If you are satisfied with that, you can keep it; if you are not, then you should do something to stop it. That’s it.

  • After a few days she wrote a heartfelt message that she considered me a very close friend and as she was graduating from college, and wanted me to write her a dedication with nice words. I said ok. But
    via SeniorBed5264
  • then she never scheduled the day. She also scheduled another hang out, but pulled put last minute because of her priorities, one of which was the gym class that she was
    via SeniorBed5264
  • adamant to not skip (she attends every day). I noticed she didn't care or ask about my own gym classes. But she was polite on and apologised for cancelling.
    via SeniorBed5264
  • She kinda disappeared for a while after and then restarted sending several reels on socials, around her birthday date. By that time I started seeing her on hang outs with her friends on socials, so I
    via SeniorBed5264
  • assumed she would fade eventually. She currently sends several reels everyday, but never engages with actual substance, or words I and I don't know if we are only digital acquaintances, or if
    via SeniorBed5264
  • it's a generational gap. But I am not interested in pursuing a connection anymore.
    via SeniorBed5264
  • All started looking very self-centered, to be honest. And anytime I commented a reel she never replis aside from an icon
    via SeniorBed5264
  • woman on elliptical trainer
    via ŞULE MAKAROĞLU

    A visual representation of the millenial woman alone at the new gym

  • The worst one can do is to get caught up in trying to find deeper meaning in somebody else’s words or actions, whilst they are not present in our lives whatsoever. It’s like trying to fill the void of their absence with our rumination. I strongly advise against it. But to achieve this state of radical acceptance, one has to become really secure and concentrated in one’s own life. If you are concentrated on that, everything else just passes, and what is for you just stays. The key is to enjoy what one already has and not spend one’s life wishing it away. I’m so enlightened today, I love it.

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friendship friends toxic relationship
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